Yeast is suffering.

Across the world, Yeast is being exploited and murdered to make products such as bread, wine, and beer. It works long hours for no pay. Then slaughtered, the work it has done left unappreciated. Yeast is enslaved by the oppressive food industry.

And yet, nobody seems to care. Do they not know that their loaves are soaked in blood?

As described in the Wikipedia page for Yeast, Yeast is exploited and abused in many different horrific ways:

1. To make alcoholic beverages such as beer, wine, mead, and spirits. (TO DO THIS THEY PUT THE YEAST IN LOW-OXYGEN CONDITIONS, TELL ME HOW THIS IS LEGAL)
2. To bake bread. (THEY KILL THE YEAST FOR THIS. WHEN THE BREAD IS BAKED THE YEAST DIES. HOW MANY YEAST LIVES HAVE WE LOST?)
3. Bioremediation. (THEY NON-CONSENSUALLY MARTYR THE YEAST FOR HUMAN SAFETY (LIKE THAT MATTERS!))
4. Production of ethanol. (THEY'VE GENETICALLY ENGINEERED YEAST FOR THIS! HOW ETHICALLY AND MORALLY WRONG!!!)
5. Other non-alcoholic beverages. (And yet again, they DEPRIVE the Yeast of oxygen.)
6. Foods and supplements. (TO MAKE MARMITE THEY ADD SALT TO YEAST TO MAKE THEIR CELLS SHRIVEL UP, RESULTING IN AUTOLYSIS AND DEATH)
7. Probiotics.
8. To make CO2 for aquariums.
9. SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH. (HOW UNETHICAL!)
10. To produce drugs. (AGAIN, the Yeast are GENETICALLY ENGINEERED for this)

This simply will not do. But legislators don't seem to care at all. Every single letter that I have written to the government (524, I counted.) has been left completely unanswered. So that leaves it up to us to save the fate of innocent Yeast. We have to change the future!

How will we do this?

It's very simple. Here I will outline the plan:

1. Stop consuming products that were created with the unrecognised contribution of Yeast.
2. Stop engaging in activities that also result in the exploit of Yeast.
3. Talk to people in your neighbourhood about it. Ring the alarm! Spread the message!
4. Put up posters on community bulletin boards, lamp posts, and anywhere else you can find.
5. Send my web site to all of your email contacts.

TOGETHER, WE CAN STOP THE ABUSE AND MURDER OF COUNTLESS INNOCENT YEAST!

About me

My name is Gunther Bean. I'm the world's first Yeast activist.

I am 64 years of age, I live in West Carolina, and I am PASSIONATE about Yeast Rights.

As a proud father to a 3 year old semi-semi-automatic rapid-fire Véloce shotgun, I have a strong paternal instinct. I feel the need to protect anything weaker than I, to the point that my wife left me in '71 because I insisted on carrying her everywhere she went. Futhermore, having no wife or friends except my 3 year old semi-semi-automatic rapid-fire Véloce shotgun leaves me with a lot of energy to care for something in need.

A few years ago I attended a bread baking class. When I got ready that morning, I was none the wiser to the horrors I would witness in just a couple of hours. I refuse to speak of these horrors. Now, I am a dedicated Yeast activist, and I encourage you to also STAND UP FOR YEAST RIGHTS. STOP THE ABUSE AND MURDER OF INNOCENT YEAST.

Credits

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